My strength was in my beard.

I am not in good shape at all.

I'm 6'3", but I kind of look like at one point I was 6'7" and then I magically lost about four inches of my spine, so I podge out in the stomach area but I still sort of pull off a healthy look you know what who honestly gives a damn about this.

What that above should have said was:
I have been fairly thin for a while, but the X-Bawks and eating habits are beginning to show themselves. I am no longer of the Golden Age of Metabolism. Furthermore, I think my generally poor care of myself is the reason why I got sick in the MIDDLE OF SPRING TOTAL BS and now have one of those crippling coughs that make me hunch over like a half-Indian General Grievous.

So today I went on a hike, with my friends Aaron and Bex. We hiked for an approximate total of 9.2 miles, during which I think my body ran out of muscles to turn sore and began making new ones to fill that purpose.
We also saw a great deal of scenery that you normally wouldn't associate with the desert I live in, such as

This, and

Ultimately this.

It was a really good experience for me, given that last time I tried this hike I might have gotten .5 miles before the previous nights alcoholic adventures came back to haunt me and I had to turn tail immediately before I ruined my day and my pants.
Upon arriving home, I decided that I should continue to try and better myself. So to symbolize the steps I so clearly need to take towards becoming a full-fledged grown-ass man, I quit drinking (not a big deal, I don't/didn't drink that much) and shaved my beard. I've a terrible memory, so all I know is that I've had this beard for some time between a month and a year, which is a while. I looked weird even to myself. I wasn't sure if by shaving my beard I would lose any of my powers but the second I was done shaving I struggled to turn on the tap so I think that's pretty clear. I hope I haven't made a mistake.