Things that I learn between late night and early morning

     There is a magical couple of hours, usually starting at 10:00 PM and concluding around 3:00 AM, where I learn some important things. They may be insight to myself or observations, but I seem to accrue at least a few every week. I recently wondered where I would be in life if I wasn't armed with this knowledge, but it seems like I'd still be right where I was so I dismissed the thought and went back to eating sweet onion chips and looking out the window.

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED DURING THESE WONDROUS HOURS

If something is thrown at me, I will do one of two things. If the object is not food, I will do a full-body wince in a feeble attempt for a 6'3" man to make himself smaller. If the object is food, I will catch it with dexterity usually reserved for cats and whatever the plural for 'mongoose' is. Mongooses.

Some people will want to fight you no matter how little you've said to anyone, or how recently you've arrived where you are. These people are in every town everywhere, in varying numbers, and there are rules that make it so you can't hit them with your car. It is wise to invest in an equally belligerent friend for these situations.

It is impossible to eat a quarter-pound ham/cheeseburger in less than two bites.

If someone notices you looking at a tattoo of theirs, and they launch into an explanation or a justification of their tattoo because they know it's garbage, if you say anything that isn't a big smiley face (: D) of a statement they will get mad at you. This may or may not lead into Thing Number Two.

Just because your friend is colorblind does not mean he cannot argue the color of something.

One of the best games to play is 'Your Team'. This game is great, especially for people-watchers like myself. What you do is, you find people who either look really awesome and call out 'My team', or you find people that look crazy awful, and put them on other peoples team. There's no score, but you do get props for clever ways of going about it, ex: "Wow Aaron, you must have a team meeting over there."

the last one really focuses on those magic hours. I mean, you can play it whenever but the best games take place then.