Pay Attention

     A wise friend of mine suggested that I get the attention of the legions of stumblers that might potentially visit here by happy accident. He continued by suggesting that I use either fireworks or side-boob to accomplish this. I'm glad that he posted examples, seeing as spend my waking hours daydreaming or trying to spin a pencil between my fingers (I can't) and as such am unable to relate.
 
     Armed with this knowledge, I immediately encountered a roadblock in my delivery. I wasn't sure how to procure the required attention-grabbing image. I couldn't freehand a drawing because fireworks have to be colorful, and there are no colored pencils or markers here because no one in this apartment is nine years old. A greyscale firework drawing is almost indistinguishable from a dandelion, or the scribble that you make when you test old pens. So that was out.

     It's also been several years since I owned a copy of Adobe Creative anything, and I wasn't about to scale the ice mountain to my school to use the public computers to try and combine breasts and fireworks. Although in hindsight, I've never seen anyone use the computers responsibly.

THINGS I HAVE WITNESSED PEOPLE DOING ON PUBLIC COMPUTERS IN SCHOOL

1) An adult woman frequenting the Habbo Hotel.

2) An early-twenties man/mannequin ordering teacups.

3) A guy that couldn't be older than nineteen, painstakingly (and painfully, for me) creating Sonic the Hedgehog artwork.

4) A young(?) woman who couldn't be more Asian if she had a katana, looking at a website that was Japanese and that had more colors than a warehouse sized Crayola box. It was like someone vomited the entire Sherwin-Williams catalog onto this site. It made the Fresh Prince look like Steamboat Willy in comparison.

     So at the time, I didn't know what to do or where to go. But there was the ever faithful yet totally terrible MS Paint. So, just like intercourse or murder, you work with the materials given.

Oh yeaaaaaaa. Check out that MS Paint quality. And I know it isn't 'side-boob' but when given the choice nobody picks that. This is the material of attention-getting legend. Imagine seeing this on a poster downtown somewhere, in all of it's art-lacking glory. You'd elbow your friend immediately. You'd hardcore elbow your friend.