Real Simple is a stupid magazine

I am aware that, as a male, women's interest magazines are not going to hold any appeal to me. But I do like to cook, and my mother offered me one of the more recent volumes so I could check out the recipes inside. As I was leafing through the pages, I couldn't help but laugh out loud at how straight-up ridiculous some of their offers are. People that don't skim through this are actually missing out.

First and foremost, as of at least January 2011 (I know fashion travels fast), the 'Most Wearable Trend Right Now' is MODERN SAFARI. What the crap. I'm both disappointed and relieved that nobody appears to be doing that around here. Didn't Banana Republic start off doing that like thirty years ago and then stop, as nobody wanted to do that? It doesn't matter. I'd be way more interested if they accessorized a machete, pith helmet, and elephant gun.

Also, I have, wear, and enjoy expensive clothing. But when you title your magazine as 'Real Simple', I think it's misleading to almost exclusively promote overly expensive products. It's like their target market is a woman who is a housewife who happens to have no knowledge of personal finances. And a desire for a sixty-dollar non-electric juicer. That's niche marketing right there.

At any rate, I'm going to hotlink some particularly great pictures featuring an unhealthily skinny woman modeling clothes in a grocery store. I'll also give you the link.
Also, the photos were taken by Christopher Griffith. Remember that. Christopher Griffith shot these photos. Not me. They aren't mine. Christopher Griffith.

"Oh man, 117 calories? Guess I'll just have a half serving.. but I'm so tired, I have to sit on these cans."

"By not eating food, I have more money for clothes! Tee-hee!"

In this photo, she isn't saying anything. She's clearly weary from hunger and staring into the distance.

"I can't wait until I'm done with this shoot, so I can treat myself to a Fig Newton!"

"I have a shopping cart filled with fruit so I can make the most out of my sixty-dollar juicer."

In this one, she's either hot from all that modeling and needs to sit in the refrigerated section, or she's weak from hunger, because she doesn't eat. She might be trying to look attractive in a grocery store, but that option is a distant third.